Repairing trust after a sharp message | Learn German in English

German lesson set in a contemporary Berlin everyday setting: In daily life, two adults repair trust after a sharp message by acknowledging the tone, explaining the context, and agreeing to pause before replying..

EN → DE / Level: B2

About This Lesson

Use Repairing trust after a sharp message to practice German conversation, pronunciation, vocabulary, grammar, and quizzes.

Dialogue

A

Ich glaube, meine frühere Nachricht klang schärfer, als ich es beabsichtigt hatte.

ikh GLOW-buh, MY-nuh FROO-uh-ruh NAHKH-rikht klahng SHEHR-fer, ahls ikh ess beh-AP-zikh-tikht HAH-tuh. I think my earlier message came across sharper than I meant it to.
B

Das kam auch so rüber, obwohl ich mich gefragt habe, ob mir vielleicht ein Teil des Kontexts fehlt.

dahs kahm owkh zoh ROO-ber, ohb-VOHL ikh mikh guh-FRAHKT HAH-buh, ohp meer fee-LYKHT ayn TAIL dess KON-tekst(s) faylt. It did, though I wondered if I was missing some context.
A

Ich war wegen etwas anderem frustriert und habe zu schnell geantwortet.

ikh vahr VAY-gen ET-vahs AHN-duh-rem froos-TREET oont HAH-buh tsoo shnell guh-ANT-vor-tet. I was frustrated about something else and replied too quickly.
B

Das erklärt den Ton, aber die Worte haben mich trotzdem getroffen.

dahs ehr-KLEHRT den tohn, AH-ber dee VOR-tuh HAH-ben mikh TROTS-dem guh-TROF-fen. That explains the tone, but the words still affected me.
A

Ich übernehme dafür die Verantwortung und möchte das wieder in Ordnung bringen.

ikh oo-ber-NAY-muh dah-FYOOR dee fer-ANT-vor-toong oont MOERKH-tuh dahs VEE-der in ORT-noong BRING-en. I take responsibility for that, and I want to repair it.
B

Ich schätze es, dass du das anerkennst. Dadurch lässt sich Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen.

ikh SHEHTS-uh ess, dahss doo dahss AHN-er-kenst. DAH-dookh LEHST zikh fer-TROW-en LYKHT-er VEE-der OWF-bow-en. I appreciate the acknowledgment. It makes trust easier to rebuild.
A

Beim nächsten Mal werde ich innehalten, bevor ich antworte, wenn ich gestresst bin.

bym NEKH-sten mahl VAIR-duh ikh IN-uh-HAHL-ten, beh-FOHR ikh ANT-vor-tuh, venn ikh guh-SHTREST bin. Next time, I'll pause before replying when I'm stressed.
B

Das würde helfen, und ich werde nachfragen, bevor ich eine Absicht unterstelle.

dahs VOOR-duh HEL-fen, oont ikh VAIR-duh NAHKH-frah-gen, beh-FOHR ikh AY-nuh AP-zikht oon-ter-SHTEL-uh. That would help, and I'll ask before assuming intent.

Word by Word

Ich Ich is the first-person pronoun meaning I. It is used as the speaker’s subject in Ich glaube; the lowercase form ich appears later when it is not at the beginning of a sentence.
glaube glaube means think or believe in Ich glaube. The form comes from glauben and is useful for introducing a personal view, such as an assessment of a message.
meine meine means my and identifies the message as belonging to the speaker in meine frühere Nachricht. It is used directly before the noun it describes.
frühere frühere means earlier or previous in meine frühere Nachricht. It specifies that the message was sent before the current conversation, and it can be reused before a noun when referring to something earlier.
Nachricht Nachricht means message, specifically the message whose tone is being discussed. It can refer to a written communication in patterns such as eine Nachricht schreiben or eine Nachricht beantworten.
klang klang means sounded in meine frühere Nachricht klang schärfer. It describes how the message was perceived, especially its tone; the form comes from klingen.
schärfer schärfer means sharper or harsher in klang schärfer. It compares the perceived tone with the tone the speaker intended, and it can describe a more severe or direct impression.
als als introduces the comparison in schärfer, als ich es beabsichtigt hatte. It connects a comparison with the following clause that explains the intended degree or manner.
es es means it in ich es beabsichtigt hatte and refers to what the speaker intended, namely the earlier message or its manner. It is used here as the object of beabsichtigt.
beabsichtigt beabsichtigt means intended in es beabsichtigt hatte. Together with hatte, it expresses what the speaker had intended earlier, and it can be used when stating an intended action or effect.
hatte hatte is the form of haben used with beabsichtigt in beabsichtigt hatte. It places the speaker’s intention before the point being discussed, and it is used with a participle in this past construction.
Das Das means that or it in Das kam auch so rüber and points back to the earlier assessment of the message. The lowercase form das appears later inside a sentence, as in dass du das anerkennst.
kam kam means came across in the expression formed with kam and rüber. It describes how the message was perceived, and the form comes from kommen.
auch auch means also or indeed in Das kam auch so rüber. It confirms that the other person agrees with the previous assessment, and it can reinforce agreement in a statement.
so so means so or that way in Das kam auch so rüber. It refers to the manner in which the message was perceived and works here with rüber to describe that impression.
rüber rüber contributes the idea of coming across or being perceived in the expression with kam. In this dialogue, it helps describe how the message’s tone reached the other person.
obwohl obwohl means although and introduces a contrasting point in obwohl ich mich gefragt habe. It links agreement about the tone with the speaker’s remaining uncertainty about the context.
mich mich means me in mich gefragt habe. It identifies the person who was wondering, and it commonly appears with fragen when someone asks themselves something.
gefragt gefragt means asked or wondered in mich gefragt habe. In this context, it describes an internal question about missing context, and the form comes from fragen.
habe habe is the first-person form of haben used with gefragt in gefragt habe. It helps form the past expression for what the speaker wondered, and it appears with a participle in this construction.
ob ob means whether or if and introduces the indirect question about missing context. It is useful for expressing uncertainty about whether something is true or present.
mir mir means to me in ob mir vielleicht ein Teil des Kontexts fehlt. It identifies the person experiencing the lack, following the pattern jemandem fehlt etwas.
vielleicht vielleicht means perhaps or maybe and softens the uncertainty in mir vielleicht ein Teil des Kontexts fehlt. It is useful when presenting a possibility without stating it as certain.
ein ein means a or one in ein Teil des Kontexts. It introduces one unspecified part, and it is used directly before the noun Teil here.
Teil Teil means part in ein Teil des Kontexts. It identifies the possibly missing portion of the context and can be followed by a phrase specifying what the part belongs to.
des des means of the in des Kontexts. It connects Teil with the larger whole, so ein Teil des Kontexts means a part of the context.
Kontexts Kontexts means context in des Kontexts. The form identifies the context of the earlier message, and it follows des in the phrase describing a part of that context.
fehlt fehlt means is missing in mir ... fehlt. It presents the context as absent for the speaker, and the reusable pattern is jemandem fehlt etwas.
war war means was in Ich war wegen etwas anderem frustriert. It describes the speaker’s earlier emotional state, and the form comes from sein.
wegen wegen means because of in wegen etwas anderem. It introduces the reason for the frustration and can be placed before the thing that caused a state or reaction.
etwas etwas means something in etwas anderem. It refers to an unspecified matter, and it works here with anderem to express something else.
anderem anderem contributes the meaning else or other in etwas anderem. Together, etwas anderem identifies an unspecified matter different from the message being discussed.
frustriert frustriert means frustrated in Ich war ... frustriert. It names the speaker’s emotional state, and it can be used after sein to describe how someone feels.
und und means and and links the speaker’s frustration with the quick reply. It joins two related statements or actions without setting up a contrast.
zu zu means too in zu schnell geantwortet. It shows that the speed was excessive for the situation, not that an infinitive follows.
schnell schnell means quickly or fast in zu schnell geantwortet. It describes the speed of the reply, and it can be modified by zu when the speed is considered excessive.
geantwortet geantwortet means replied in habe zu schnell geantwortet. It describes the completed response to the earlier message, and the form comes from antworten.
erklärt erklärt means explains in Das erklärt den Ton. It presents the frustration and quick reply as an explanation for the tone, and it can be followed by the thing being explained.
den den means the in den Ton. It identifies the specific tone under discussion and appears directly before Ton in this phrase.
Ton Ton means tone in den Ton. Here it refers to the attitude or emotional quality conveyed by the words, and it is used in expressions about how communication sounds.
aber aber means but and introduces the important contrast between explaining the tone and acknowledging its effect. It is useful for placing a limitation or opposing point after an explanation.
die die means the in die Worte. It identifies the particular words that affected the other person and appears directly before Worte.
Worte Worte means words in die Worte. Here it refers to the wording that caused an emotional effect, and it can be used when discussing what someone said or wrote.
haben haben is the plural form of haben used with die Worte and getroffen in die Worte haben mich trotzdem getroffen. It helps express the effect the words had on the other person.
trotzdem trotzdem means nevertheless or still in haben mich trotzdem getroffen. It maintains the contrast: the explanation is accepted, but the emotional effect remains.
getroffen getroffen means affected or hurt in haben mich trotzdem getroffen. The words are described as having reached the speaker emotionally, and the form comes from treffen.
übernehme übernehme means take on or assume in Ich übernehme dafür die Verantwortung. It expresses accepting responsibility for the situation, and the common pattern is Verantwortung übernehmen.
dafür dafür means for that in übernehme dafür die Verantwortung. It refers back to the effect of the sharp message and specifies what the responsibility concerns.
Verantwortung Verantwortung means responsibility in dafür die Verantwortung übernehmen. It names what the speaker accepts, and it is commonly used with übernehmen when someone accepts accountability.
möchte möchte expresses would like or want in möchte das wieder in Ordnung bringen. It presents the speaker’s wish or intention to repair the situation, and it can introduce an infinitive phrase.
wieder wieder means again or back in wieder in Ordnung bringen. It shows that the speaker wants to restore the situation to a better state, and it can accompany an action of restoration.
in Ordnung bringen in Ordnung bringen means put right, repair, or restore in möchte das wieder in Ordnung bringen. In this construction, in contributes the direction into, Ordnung means order, and bringen means bring; together they describe restoring something that has gone wrong.
schätze schätze means appreciate or value in Ich schätze es, dass du das anerkennst. It expresses gratitude for the other person’s acknowledgment, and the reusable pattern is Ich schätze es, dass ...
dass dass means that and introduces the content of what the speaker appreciates in dass du das anerkennst. It connects an evaluation with the statement that explains its content.
du du means you when addressing one person directly in dass du das anerkennst. It identifies the person whose acknowledgment is being appreciated and is used as the subject of the clause.
anerkennst anerkennst means acknowledge or recognize in dass du das anerkennst. It refers to recognizing the problem or responsibility, and it can follow dass when describing what someone acknowledges.
Dadurch Dadurch means thereby or as a result in Dadurch lässt sich Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen. It refers to the acknowledgment just mentioned and introduces its positive consequence.
lässt lässt means makes possible or allows in lässt sich Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen. Together with sich and the infinitive, it presents rebuilding trust as something that can become easier.
sich sich is part of the construction lässt sich Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen. It helps present Vertrauen as something that can be rebuilt, rather than naming a specific person who rebuilds it.
Vertrauen Vertrauen means trust in Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen. It is the thing being restored after the misunderstanding, and it can be used with aufbauen when trust develops or returns.
leichter leichter means more easily in Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen. It compares the effort of rebuilding trust after the acknowledgment with a more difficult alternative.
aufbauen aufbauen means rebuild or build up in Vertrauen leichter wieder aufbauen. It describes restoring trust over time, and it can be used directly with Vertrauen as the thing being rebuilt.
Beim Beim means at or on the in Beim nächsten Mal. It is the contraction of bei and dem, and the phrase introduces a future occasion for a changed behavior.
nächsten nächsten means next in Beim nächsten Mal. It identifies the following occasion, and it is used directly before Mal in this common time expression.
Mal Mal means time or occasion in Beim nächsten Mal. Together with Beim nächsten, it refers to the next similar situation in which the speaker can act differently.
werde werde means will in werde ich innehalten. It is the first-person form of werden used with the infinitive innehalten to express a future intention.
innehalten innehalten means pause or stop for a moment in werde ich innehalten. It describes deliberately delaying a reply while stressed, and it can be used with bevor to state what happens before another action.
bevor bevor means before and introduces the action that should happen later in bevor ich antworte. It sets the order of two actions and introduces a clause about the earlier one.
antworte antworte means reply in bevor ich antworte. It names the response that will be delayed, and the form comes from antworten.
wenn wenn means when in wenn ich gestresst bin. It introduces the circumstance in which the speaker plans to pause, and it can introduce a time or condition clause.
gestresst gestresst means stressed in wenn ich gestresst bin. It describes the speaker’s state that triggers the planned pause, and it is used with sein to describe that state.
bin bin means am in ich gestresst bin. It is the first-person form of sein and completes the expression describing the speaker’s current state.
würde würde contributes would in Das würde helfen. Together with helfen, it presents help as a possible result of the proposed change, and it can introduce a hypothetical consequence.
helfen helfen means help in Das würde helfen. It names the useful effect of pausing before replying, and it can follow würde in a statement about a possible result.
nachfragen nachfragen means ask for clarification or ask further in ich werde nachfragen. It describes checking the meaning before making an assumption, and it can be followed by a question or clarification request.
eine eine means a or an in eine Absicht unterstelle. It introduces the unspecified intention that someone might wrongly attribute.
Absicht Absicht means intention in eine Absicht unterstelle. It refers to the purpose someone may have, and it is used with unterstellen when an intention is attributed without first checking.
unterstelle unterstelle means assume or attribute in eine Absicht unterstelle. It describes assigning an intention to someone, and the reusable pattern is eine Absicht unterstellen.

Grammar Points

Trennbare Verben: Präfix am Satzende

Ich baue Vertrauen wieder auf.

ikh BOW-uh fer-TROW-en VEE-der OWF.

I rebuild trust.

In a main clause, the verb stem is in position 2 and the prefix moves to the end.

sich fragen: reflexives Pronomen im Akkusativ

Ich frage mich.

ikh FRAH-guh mikh.

I wonder.

The reflexive pronoun changes with the subject; with ich, use mich.

German Vocabulary

beabsichtigen verb
beh-AP-zikh-tih-gen to intend beabsichtigt
fehlen verb
FAY-len to be missing; to lack fehlt
frühere adj
FROO-uh-ruh earlier; former
frustriert adj
froos-TREET frustrated
glauben verb
GLOW-ben to think; to believe glaube
klingen verb
KLING-en to sound klang
Kontext noun
KON-tekst context Kontexts
Nachricht noun
NAHKH-rikht message

meine frühere Nachricht

schärfer adj
SHEHR-fer sharper
sich fragen phrase
zikh FRAH-gen to wonder; to ask oneself mich gefragt
so rüberkommen phrase
zoh ROO-ber-KOM-en to come across that way
zu schnell adv
tsoo shnell too quickly

Quiz

Spelling

Tap the letters to spell the word.

to sound

Show Answerklang

context

Show AnswerKontexts

to think; to believe

Show Answerglaube

earlier; former

Show Answerfrühere